The Ugly Duckling's Far Cry: My opinion on the 1-Series

That's not pretty, that's a BMW 5GT with the charisma of a rock.

There's a sad, sad story in the world of premium manufacturers. A sad story that speaks of a sad demise. It is the story of the BMW 1-Series: and it starts like Andersen's Ugly Duckling. But the worst part is it doesn't quite end like the lovely fable. Whereas the poor ugly duckling turns out to be a beautiful swan, the 1-Series morphed into something that's more likely to ever appear in a horror movie: a bulbous, appaling design which I would compare to a rehased Austin Allegro. Seriously. I'm sure most of you would find my opinion quite violent and unjustified, as I base almost all my criticism upon the car's styling. But here's another point of view: the boot and the rear space are rather limited (I'd say puny) for a car of its class, the performance of the base models leaves an old lady bored (What?? A 1.6 pumping out 130 BHP? I can fetch you a 1.4 Renault for 6 K less and you'd get the same power.) and the price/equipment ratio is not very good either. So, here's my final point: you have two choices - picking the Coupe (go for the M1, please), which solves the styling problem, or buying a Kia Cee'd for much, much less. Or a Golf. Or a Focus. Or anything else. Just don't go whisper on BMW's ears what I've been rambling here...